imitatio- I think of you.

Imitatio of Kerouac’s last line from On the Road:

 

So in Fremont when the traffic blurs around and I stand alone in the center of the universe on the worn foot- beaten public sidewalk watching the slow, somber memories of you and know all that desperate energy that settled in every incalculable fiber of this body from my tingly fingertips to un-kissed lips, and all that desire that overwhelmed, all that serotonin that pumped continuously throughout the impossibility of it all and in my daydream I recall how that Jeep will be taking you to the land where they let the lovers love, and tonight I’ll be a crumpled pile of untouched flesh and unrelenting tears, but don’t you get that I could have broken you too? the numbing apathy must be settling and soothing her healing quality in my soul, which is returning to the ghostly state that you disturbed, awakening the desires I taught myself not to have, here a honking returns me from my reverie of two springs ago, but nobody, nobody knows what I could be capable of if I decided to take from you all what you have taken from me- specifically, I think of you, who reminded me of the fruitlessness of it all with your measly peck on my forehead before you left me stranded in the center of the universe, I think of you.

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