How to wake up.

Hypothetically, in 50 steps. 1. Turn lights off; blow out candle. 2. Scramble to bed; run into dresser. 3. Bruise and bundle up. 4. Close eyes. 5. Stop thinking. 6. Push him from your brain. 7. Extract him from your bones. 8. Breath. 9. Sit up. 10. Open laptop; illuminate room. 11. Look at empty room.…

finger painting

Abi and Rae are five year old twins I have the pleasure of getting paid to hang out with from time to time. Today we finger painted. Upon opening the kit, the girls were dismayed at the few colors we had to work with. “This is boring,” they declared. “These are primary colors, ladies, and…

to be.

I had a drink yesterday; in fact, I had three. For the first time in a long time I drank and didn’t cry. I did not cry nor did I feel: helpless, hopeless, horrified at my humanity. I sat, I was, and continued to be. I simply was, with another, and that did not cease…

good morrow.

Good morning- I am here, accompanied by my cat and a new book. Although my back hurts a little, sleeping on the couch is one of my favourite things. Waking up on the couch with my cat entwined in the blanket and somehow burrowed under my knees, I have just discovered, is another one of…

Dear grandpa, I have written quite a few letters recently. Letters I will never send. Letters to you, to him, to past me, to future me, to possible aliens. A letter to the customer who made me cry, and one to the customer who brought tears to my eyes by sharing beautiful, hopeful outlook on…

reflections

I took a look at the body in the bubbled bath, and this is what I found: Rough and blister- ridden feet. I peel the blisters away to reveal fresh, pink skin not yet known by you. A scab still clinging to the back of my heel- soon to be a scar from those shoes…

by candlelight i watched the last of twenty- one year’s worth of innocence fade down the drain that night, the precipice of the fall 2013. the weather, a little crisper than the day before, must have caught on to the tempest brewing within me, within we. two halves- whole. two wholes- one. the we, us:…